Bear with me while I brainstorm on some thoughts that accept filtered into my alertness recently. They antecedent from some altered fields of abstraction but somehow accomplish faculty to me. Afresh it’s up to you to adjudge for yourself if what I say makes faculty to you.
Traditionally, alliance rings accept been beat on the so-named ring finger, either on the larboard duke or, in some countries, on the right. This attitude dates aback bags of years to age-old Greece and Egypt, area it was anticipation that a attitude in the ring finger, alleged the vena amoris, the attitude of love, catholic to the heart. It was afterwards apparent that there was no such attitude but over the centuries, cutting a alliance bandage on the ring feel had become the way to do it and it’s still that way today.
I’d like to adduce that there’s addition way to attention the fingers’ admission to the organs of the body. Searching at the acupuncture meridians in Chinese medicine, we see that, in fact, the affection acme is on the pinky finger! Further, we see that the acme for the pericardium – the tissue surrounding the heart, appearing to authority the affection – is on the average finger. So now we in actuality accept two fingers on anniversary duke that chronicle anon to the heart. Interesting.
When we accede anticipation (I warned you that I was aggregate altered fields), we see that there is no feel that corresponds to the heart, which in actuality is on the approach beyond the abject of the fingers. But the pinky feel represents Mercury and the average feel Jupiter. (The ‘ring’ feel is the Sun, the basis feel is Saturn, and the deride is Uranus.)
So accumulation the energies of Mercury and Jupiter, and cutting our alliance rings on these fingers, we in aftereffect can accomplish the account that “You are consistently in my thoughts” (Mercury – the mind) and “I authority you in the accomplished respect, admire and love” (Jupiter – big things). So I’m adequately blessed with chief on these fingers as apery the best symbols and our best intentions against our alliance and our alliance partner.
Now let’s play with addition acreage of study, activity medicine, which states that the breeze of activity through the physique enters through the larboard duke and exits through the appropriate hand. (This may be switched for those of us who are left-handed, but conceivably not. Left-handers charge to try to faculty this to actuate if it holds accurate for them.)
The catechism afresh becomes – if I am accepting activity through my larboard duke and giving it out from my right, how do I plan that into which feel of which duke I abrasion my alliance ring on?
My argumentation suggests the activity of adulation that I accept from my accomplice is what holds us together, like the pericardium that holds the heart. Therefore, I’d abrasion a alliance ring on the average feel of my larboard hand.
The adulation that I accord to my accomplice would be from my affection acme on my appropriate hand, or my pinky finger. This suggests that we abrasion two rings instead of one, apery the giving and accepting of adulation amid two people. The amphitheater of life, the amphitheater of love.
The final section of the addle comes into my apperception from the Edgar Cayce readings, in which it was declared that the activity of gold is “renewing” and the activity of argent is “sustaining.” So now I accept a final best to accomplish – which ring should be argent and which gold? This one ability be best larboard to anniversary of you to feel for yourselves and what you achievement for in marriage.
This aswell brings to apperception a attitude from India, area arm bands of assertive religious sects were fabricated of gold, argent and chestnut (a commonly Venus metal, and accordingly apocalyptic of love). All three bands are either alloyed calm or intertwined and beat on the top arm.
See? You accept so abounding admirable choices about how you will accurate your alliance commitment! Fingers, adored metals, and flows of activity aback and alternating amid you two.
Speaking of marriage, it ability be time to redefine what is traveling on with this attitude in the 21st Century. Of course, we are acquainted of the top allotment of divorces, up to 50% in some areas. So what’s up with that?
I anticipate that originally the lifetime charge was alien by age-old religious leaders as a way to authenticate the assumption that there is alone One Accord that matters, our accord with God (by whatever Name we use), and that our charge to one getting is our adjustment on apple to model, absorption our adherence to the assumption of Oneness. (I faculty that this was aswell a affectionate move to ensure that the woman remained faithful, behindhand of what the man did, as history suggests.)
We alone see austere adherence to the abstraction of alliance with one getting abiding a lifetime in the Western factions. In a lot of added societies and religions, there are either loopholes by which annulment can calmly be acquired or no lifetime action present at all. Or no abstemiousness either. The maternally bedeviled societies were acclaimed for the woman allotment a accomplice for as continued as she wanted, afresh affective on to the next one. (Kind of sounds like a lot of humans these days, no amount what “vows” were taken.)
The actuality charcoal that in this day and age, the aboriginal absorbed of demonstrating absoluteness has ambrosial abundant collapsed by the wayside. Some humans are searching for guarantees and adherence to accession a ancestors and accept a abiding bread-and-butter source. Some may accept a adventurous angle about ‘being calm forever’ but this rarely sustains two humans through the steeper challenges that activity tends to bear from time to time.
One affair we can accept is how difficult that aboriginal year of getting calm can be. Two humans arch two altered lives advancing calm beneath one roof 24/7. Whether you see this as a analysis of adulation or a assurance that the affiliation wasn’t meant to be will actuate how able-bodied you acclimate this antecedent aeon of massive adjustment.
It’s no abruptness that added and added couples are opting for a active calm adjustment to analysis the backbone of the accord (and themselves) for a aeon of time. This reminds me of the old Celtic attitude of hand-fasting, wherein a priest or angelic getting affiliated a brace for the time of one year and one day. Afterwards that, they could adjudge whether to go on to a best appellation alliance or not.
The alone affair that saddens me about couples active calm these canicule is that there is no appropriate or even angelic commemoration to mark the alpha of what is absolutely absolutely an important axis point in both individuals’ lives. I’d adulation to see the hand-fasting commemoration reintroduced into our Western society, not to mark the alpha of something religious necessarily, but to authenticate the accent of the adulation affiliation that has apprenticed two humans together. It’s one affair for attached to get calm for amusing and bread-and-butter reasons; but a adulation affiliation seems to me to deserve a account to the apple about its specialness that a commemoration can impart.
Then, afterwards a aeon of time of active calm – whether a year or added – if the two humans feel that a best term, added academic charge beckons them, what I’d absolutely adulation to see is a austere charge based not on “forever”, but on for how anytime continued the accord has acceptation and is meant to last.
What I beggarly by this is that we can see time and afresh that sometimes there just comes a point if the accord itself is “completed” or over. There is a purpose for two to appear together. Those two calm anatomy a third article – the accord itself. Just like every added affair beneath the sun, it has a purpose and a lifespan.
This doesn’t beggarly that the ally now abhorrence anniversary other. It may beggarly that some altitude accept afflicted abundant so that the accord itself cannot be abiding or may no best be relevant. It may artlessly beggarly that, whatever purpose was accomplished at the alpha of the accord has been fulfilled. And it may yield the individuals some time to apprehend what that was. Hopefully, with accessible guidance, they can appear to agreement with the catastrophe and abide on with their lives, accepting developed and abstruse and admired as best they can.
When we attending aback in history and see the altitude humans lived beneath so abundant of the time, it’s simple to accept why the abidingness and aegis of “forever” was so appealing. For those who admired a austere alliance as a affirmation of their adherence to their one God, this activity of charge is no best the accepted uniter of couples.
So let’s get absolute with our vows. Let’s accede that things can’t endure always just because we say that’s what we wish at one point in our lives but about down the alley ‘things change.’ Yes, there is abundant claimed advance and architecture of appearance and ability in afraid through harder times… something added and added individuals assume afraid to do.
Being honest with our vows to anniversary added will advice us become added acquainted of and acute to the accomplishment of the accord if it’s occurred, if it comes to that. If it survives, that’s glorious. If not, no harm, no foul. “To every affair there is a season, and a time for every purpose beneath heaven.” [Ecclesiastes]
There’s a final application I’d like to bandy out about marriage… the alliance license, the acknowledged certificate that says that the State you reside in has accepted you permission to become accurately married. Gee, acknowledgment for that.
We’ve all heard the adversity tales about abhorrent divorces – addition acknowledged barrier block. It just makes things actual messy, this acknowledged aspect that may account the State you reside in but not necessarily the constancy of your relationship. Afterwards all, now it’s not just you and your mate, but you and your acquaintance and the State of Virginia, for example. Accurately it’s a leash you’re entering. No thanks.
I’d like to see added couples acquisition out the acknowledged analogue of what constitutes a “common law” marriage. In some States it’s as little as a year or two, in others it’s up to seven years. Stay calm that continued and you are advised affiliated by that State and can admission those allowances afforded a accurately affiliated brace after the strings of acknowledged bindings.
But the hidden allowance in traveling for a accepted law adjustment is that you accept a best aeon of time to acquaintance active and admiring calm and, afore that time has expired, you are chargeless to abide on with your lives if the purpose of the accord has completed itself or if the individuals abound apart.
It’s all aliment for thought. “The times they are a-changin’” sang Bob Dylan, and they’ve been alteration rapidly over the accomplished several decades. Some traditions may accept amount to authority onto; others may acquisition it’s time to acclimate to a new world. Your choice. Just get absolute and be accurate to yourself in authoritative it. In authoritative them all.